As a business owner of a mental health private practice for eight years, one of the biggest lessons I had to learn the hard way was this: Private Practice Lesson: Leave Your Emotions Out of It. As therapists, emotions are our superpower in the clinical room—but in business, they can quickly become our downfall.
As mental health professionals, we are trained to think and feel emotions deeply. Not only are we aware of our own emotions, but also the emotions of those around us. It’s literally what we do for a living. We hear, interpret, and assign meaning to feelings. Many times, we notice what our clients are feeling before they even do. Feelings are the language of therapy. And we “do feelings” for a living! Wild when you think about it, right?
But here’s the thing: when it comes to running a business, feelings are not the best guide. In fact, this private practice lesson has been one of the hardest to learn—emotions often derail good decision-making if we let them take the lead.
Private Practice Lesson in Hiring: Facts Over Feelings
Too often, we hire because we feel a connection. We go with our gut instinct. I can remember a time I hired someone because we “clicked” and got along well. But that’s not how you build a strong team. Hiring should be based on experience, skills, adaptability, problem-solving, and the ability to take feedback. The best predictor of future success is past behavior—not a warm feeling that maybe they’ll grow into the role someday. I soon realized that my new hire lacked problem solving skills, organization, and desire to work with the population we needed the most help with. If I would have gone beyond the feeling, and taken a deeper dive into skill and company needs, I would have realized she wasn’t the best fit. Leave feelings out of it.
Private Practice Lesson in Finances: Data Don’t Lie
In the early years, I let my emotions ride the ups and downs of revenue. Green numbers made me happy, red numbers made me anxious. But the truth is, my emotional reaction didn’t change the reality of the numbers. Finances are facts. They should guide decisions objectively—not through the lens of fear or excitement. However, for the first 2 years I rode the roller coaster of revene and became emotionally exhausted. As a private practice owner, income and revenue is not always constant month to month. My feelings were becoming not only draining, but distracting as well.
Private Practice Lesson in Big Decisions: Don’t Let Fear or Pride Lead
Expansion, office space, hiring or firing—all of these decisions must be made with clarity and data, not emotion. I once delayed firing someone because I worried too much about how they’d feel or what would happen to them. My hesitation cost me financially and mentally. In addition, I can remember a time all of my colleauges were expanding and growing and I found myself wanting to do the same- you know, Shiny Object Syndrome. I felt the need to “keep up” and later realized this as a symptom of my own pride and ego. Thankfully I never decided to buy that additional office space (COVID hit that year), but if I had relied only on my emotional reactions, I quickly could have. Fear, pride, and insecurity are expensive advisors.
Final Takeaway
Here’s what I’ve come to realize: as a clinician, emotional intelligence is vital. It’s how we connect with clients and create healing spaces. But as a business owner, unchecked emotions can cloud judgment. That’s why this Private Practice Lesson: Leave Your Emotions Out of It is so essential.
Bring your full emotional self into the therapy room. Bring empathy and intuition into leadership. But when it comes to money, hiring, and big decisions—check your feelings at the door. Your practice will thank you for it.